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Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in
op_tech_glitch's LiveJournal:
| Saturday, November 7th, 2009 | | 4:01 am |
| | Saturday, September 19th, 2009 | | 12:03 am |
Never let it be said that I'm not the most helpful chap possible.
This is for all you tea baggers (man, what an unfortunate name) and good 'ol boys out there who think we are under socialist attack.
I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following: I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights. I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public. I will swear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also. I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following: * Social Security * Medicare/Medicaid * State Children's Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP) * Police, Fire, and Emergency Services * US Postal Service * Roads and Highways * Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA) * The US Railway System * Public Subways and Metro Systems * Public Bus and Lightrail Systems * Rest Areas on Highways * Sidewalks * All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations) * Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, socialist shower, socialist dishwasher, socialist kitchen sink, socialist outdoor hose!) * Public and State Universities and Colleges * Public Primary and Secondary Schools * Sesame Street * Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children * Public Museums * Libraries * Public Parks and Beaches * State and National Parks * Public Zoos * Unemployment Insurance * Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services * Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding >From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them) * Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived >From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them) * Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions) * Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking * Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies * Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C. I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to: * Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History * The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments * The government-operated Statue of Liberty * The Grand Canyon * The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials * The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery * All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare. I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America. I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army. I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees. Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks. Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die. SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF __________ IN THE YEAR ___. _____________ _________________________ Signed Printed Name/Town and State | | Thursday, September 17th, 2009 | | 4:50 pm |
| | Saturday, July 18th, 2009 | | 2:20 am |
| | Friday, June 12th, 2009 | | 5:44 am |
| | Sunday, June 7th, 2009 | | 2:19 am |
| | Friday, May 29th, 2009 | | 9:36 am |
| | Monday, April 13th, 2009 | | 3:51 pm |
| | Tuesday, March 17th, 2009 | | 6:15 pm |
| | Thursday, February 19th, 2009 | | 11:46 pm |
| | Monday, October 20th, 2008 | | 2:45 am |
They totally need to have THIS debate so I can DVR it.
Adventuring Party Politics: The Campaign is Getting Ugly Original post: http://somehedgehog.livejournal.com/245807.html GM: OK, the bugbear attacks you. What do you do? OBAMA: I send one of my 672 henchmen after it. MCCAIN: OK, seriously. Why does he have so many henchmen? I'm a level 72 ranger and he's only a level 8 paladin. OBAMA: Well, if you'd bought the Grassroots Organizing and Oratory/Colgate Smile proficiencies you could min max it so that you... MCCAIN: Why is he even IN this campaign? I thought this was supposed to be a high level party. OBAMA: Well, maybe some people got tired of the grim and squinty "Matterhorn, son of Marathon" shtick you keep doing. Dude, could you be any less original? MCCAIN: Oh my god, I did not leave my left nut in a tiger cage in the Tomb of Horrors to spend my Friday nights mopping up after the new kid. OBAMA: "My friends, I am a totally unoriginal grizzled character class stereotype. I should lead the party because I have more testicular damage than that one." MCCAIN: Yeah, well, you pal around with dark elves. OBAMA: OH NO YOU DIDN'T. MCCAIN: Whatever, so's your mom. OBAMA: So's your FACE. MCCAIN: So's your Mom's face! HILLARY: WTF you guys. Why am I playing the cleric? MCCAIN: Hillary, we've been over this. HILLARY: No, dude. I am so sick of being the girlfriend healer. Seriously, I can't even use a sword. Fuck this noise. KUCINICH: IM A BARD OBAMA: That's nice. KUCINICH: MY FAMILIAR IS A PURPLE SNOW LEOPARD MCCAIN: Oh, Jesus. Here we go. KUCINICH: DID I MENTION MY WIFE IS A TOTALLY BANGIN DRYAD WITH 20 CHARISMA HILLARY: C'mon you guys, I've been playing this shit since Gygax was in eighth grade. Why can't I be the party leader with the magic sword for once? MCCAIN: Because no one wants to see you in a bronze bra. OBAMA: Oh dude, BURRRRRNNNN. HILLARY: SCREW YOU, Grandpa. I will so kick your ass. MCCAIN: Yeah? Bring it! I didn't spend 3 years in the Abyss with Githzerai hooking my nads up to a car battery to get beat by some Wellesley girl. HILLARY: WHATEVER, you can't even lift your arms over your head. RON PAUL: I brought my Planescape character! OBAMA: Dude, we're playing Forgotten Realms. RON PAUL: I rift in from Sigil! I'm a Chaotic Neutral Tiefling Barbarian/Monk/Rogue! MCCAIN: DUDE, that is not even LEGAL. RON PAUL: Ronpaul the Barbarian say: suck it! Guns and abortions and weed for everyone! WHEEE! PALIN: Hi folks! Sorry I'm late! I brought caribou burgers. HILLARY: Who the HELL is this? MCCAIN: It's cool, she's with me. HILLARY: No! No, it's not cool! Every time you bring one of your rodeo-queen girlfriends in here she ends up playing some succubus infiltrator and killing the whole party! MCCAIN: Now, that is patently untrue. BIDEN: He has a point. Cindy turned out to be a vampire. MCCAIN: DUDE. SHUT UP. GM: You guys, seriously, if you don't knock it off with the bickering I'm going to start docking XP. MCCAIN: You know what? Fuck it. I'm suspending the campaign. GM: You can't do that! Only I can suspend the campaign! I didn't suspend it for the 1988 Mountain Dew shortage and I'm not going to suspend it now. KUCINICH: YOU GUYS I AM TOTALLY CASTING A CANTRIP MCCAIN: Oh my god, Dennis, shut up, you don't even count. KUCINICH: YOU GUYS ARE DICKS BIDEN: Where are the Cheetos? RON PAUL: Wait. What happen to tiny Mormon Man? GM: You find Mitt's lifeless, drained corpse has been stuffed in the broom closet. HILLARY: Oh, God DAMMIT. MCAIN: Not ok! NOT OK! OBAMA: What, I didn't even get a detect evil roll for that one? HILLARY: I TOLD you she was a succubus, but did anyone listen? Oohhhhh no, HILLARY's just jealous of the beauty queen. RON PAUL: Pretty Lady screw Mitt lifeless. Ronpaul SMASH!! MCCAIN: Would you please go light up a spliff and stay out of this? The grown ups are talking. RON PAUL: Why pretty lady suck life out of Mitt and not Ronpaul? Not fair! HILLARY: I mean, never mind that I'm the one with 17 Wisdom, but does anyone listen to the girl? Noooooo. RON PAUL: Also Mitt have stupid name. Who name kid after baseball equipment? KUCINICH: HAY YOU GUYS CHECK OUT MY HEAD OF VECNA TRICK HILLARY: This never would have happened when Tim Russert was our GM. GM: You know what? Forget it. Rocks fall, everyone dies. OBAMA: Screw you guys. I'm going to go play Bunnies and Burrows at Jon Stewart's house. HILLARY: Me too. MCCAIN: Me too. KUCINICH: GAZEBO! | | Thursday, September 11th, 2008 | | 4:10 am |
7 years later.........
And I bet George is still pissed off that he didn't get to find out what happened to the goat. | | Friday, August 22nd, 2008 | | 5:54 am |
| | Friday, July 4th, 2008 | | 3:59 am |
| | Saturday, June 21st, 2008 | | 5:52 am |
| | Friday, March 21st, 2008 | | 12:49 am |
| | Wednesday, March 7th, 2007 | | 4:18 am |
Pirate Mail for the winter!
Deadletter is a project year round, with a (sometimes) presence at BRC. In October of 2005, we went to Berkeley and posted signs of ourselves all over campus - and the campus slowly noticed, was mystified by, and discussed our presence there. We slowly made our presence more 'understandable', and by the end it was all about Pirate Mail Pirate Mail Pirate Mail. This month we announced on the UCBerkeley livejournal community that we'd be coming back, and a number of people have posted their pirate mail addresses and want MAIL! The thread can be found at: http://community.livejournal.com/ucberkeley/2762935.htmlWe'll be going down in the second week of January, and we need mail to these people! Now, this begs the question of, how do we _get_ the mail from you, to give out. Well, first, could you write it right away? Then, we'll need to figure out how to get it to it's location. We could use USPS mailing address in PDX, and we could take it to Berkeley and pass it around. Or, I can see if the people in Berkeley wantsto be 'point' for collecting mail for strangers and then reading it, editing it, and passing it around. Or you could pirate mail it to UCBerkeley, and it will get there... whenever it gets there! Some of the interesting people we've been given to write to: Triangle Man Drinking Arizona green tea, getting banned from RSF, busting a move UC Berkeley write about: steroids PLUMPKIN LJ ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONS, RECREATIONAL SPORTS FACILITY UC BERKELEY WRITE ABOUT: WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/PLUMPKINFACE zoha most muslim people on campus would know someone who knows me chemistry uc berkeley Amanórë Woman in science, playing Zelda Chemistry UC Berkeley Write about: stars chad powell chick with colorful hair wandering Wheeler's halls UC Berkeley Write about: is it mooses, moosi or meese AND bands Dee Dices, Shay-D, The Yellow Bruce Willis, Big D-Ill, D-Wreck Ridge House or The Oakland 42nd Street Rap All Stars Crew Dept: Political Science, Major: Poli Sci, Area: Political Economy, Curb Serving, and the finer things on The Fine List write about: whiskey, politics, trees, or the vampire squid (Vampyroteuthis infernalis) Andrew Cerda Is a PA in dorms Studies Anthropology UC Berkeley Write about: post graduation plans, jobs, graduate programs, how to get a life, and solutions for my complete lack of post-college plans. puja the dwinelle outskirts, erryday in the afternoony am premed + italian studies woo uc berkeley pirates, ochem, the violin, speaking other languages, mountain dew code red ΦΔϘ (theta delta?) Hiding in the corner with the drafty windows and the pile of empty bottles Earth and Planetary Science UC Berkeley Tell me about your mother. Talia! Scout. Riding a pink and blue hoopty fixed gear bike. Interdisciplinary Studies/Middle Eastern Studies UC Berkeley Misty aka RhiannonStone Often found in the Linguistics lounge, SLUgS meetings, or anywhere else Cal's Ling majors gather (so basically Dwinelle) Linguistics UC Berkeley How do you feel about Dr Pepper? Au Cal Dems History & Linguistics UC Berkeley [ write me about: your favorite wikipedia article/adventure ] Gil The Dwinelle Benches, Squelch English UC Berkeley [ write me about: hot new indie bands, long walks on the beach, and why/why not you want to go to australia ] Conceptual (Michelle) Responsible for that Cookie Thing on Sproul UC Berkeley Write about: Cookies! Help us write mail! Write it, then we'll collect it (by pirate mail) and take it down to Berkeley! ;-b -- ________________________________________ __________________________________ Dead Letter: You've Got A Friend In Noise | | Sunday, November 26th, 2006 | | 3:41 am |
Brainscrambling
BRAINSCRAMBLING Relax. Put yourself in a comfortable position. Breathe deeply. Let the tension stream out of your head and neck and shoulders. Imagine that your worries are flowing out of you into the good earth below. Say "ahhhhh" in your softest tone. Dissolve the constricted energy in your chest and belly and pelvis, and let it trickle away. Allow the stress in your legs and feet to evaporate. With each breath, send out a wave of love to your entire body. Relax even more deeply. Become aware that all of the disquiet within you is departing. Your knots are unraveling. Your congestion is dissipating. Now close your eyes and imagine that it's a bright and warm summer day at the beach. You're sitting in a cozy chair. The sky is a deep, infinite blue. A balmy breeze caresses your cheeks. Your body feels strong and serene. You're in harmony with the flow of life. Look around you. See the sparkling white sand. Feel the gentle waves swirl around your ankles. As you bask in this beauty and calm, imagine that you're reading the Wall Street Journal and listening to the soothingly riotous music of a klezmer polka band playing free-form jazz with a hip-hop beat. Nearby is a shopping mall you have recently bought and converted into a country club for poor people. A satellite phone and a wireless laptop are by your side because you must always be available to conduct late-breaking business deals, buy or sell stocks, or give spiritual advice. Amazing but true: You are both a billionaire and a wise counselor. This blend of wealth and sagacity has led you to become a philanthropic healer. Through cash donations and gifts of insight, you have helped thousands of people transform themselves into gorgeous geniuses skilled at expressing their souls' codes. Relax even more deeply. Tune in to the understanding that you are a furiously curious soul full of orgiastic compassion for everything alive. You are an ongoing experiment in lyrical logic, a slow explosion of uncanny delight, a sacred agent devoted to breaking the taboo against feeling crafty joy. Now say this: I have only barely imagined the blessings that await me. As interesting and as full as my life is, I'm ready for it to become even more so. With this declaration, you have given the future permission to transform you into a more awakened version of yourself than you ever knew was possible. Continue your cooperation with the glorious fate that's coming your way. Speak the following affirmations, which have been scientifically formulated to free you of all rigid beliefs that might cause stupidity: I kick my own ass and wash my own brain. I push my own buttons and trick my own pain. I burn my own flags and roast my own heroes. I mock my own fears and cheer my own zeroes. Nothing can stop me from teasing my shadow. I'm full of empty and backwards bravado. My wounds are tattoos that reveal my true beauty. I turn tragic to magic and make bliss my duty. I honor my faults till they become virtues. I play jokes on my nightmares till I'm sure they won't hurt you. I sing anarchist lullabies to lesbian trees and love songs with punch lines to anonymous seas. I won't accept gifts that infringe on my freedom I shun sacred places that stir up my boredom. I change my name daily, pretend to be nobody. I fight for the truth if it's majestically rowdy. I brag about what I can't do and don't know. I take off my clothes to those I oppose. I'm so far beyond lazy, I work like a god. I'm totally crazy; in fact that's my job. It's all true. You're completely wacko. Throbbingly, succulently, shimmeringly insane. And that's good news. This understanding frees you up to sing in the acid rain and cultivate global warming in your pants. You are in prime condition to study the difference between stupid insecurity and smart insecurity until you get it right. You realize beyond a doubt that everyone who believes in the devil is the devil. You feel a longing to stick out your tongue and cross your eyes and put on your most beautifully ugly face as you sneak up on yourself from behind and whisper "boo!" And you see the healthy wisdom of now and then inserting into your conversations the following quote, uttered by the Baron in the film The Adventures of Baron Munchausen: "Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash, and I'm happy to say I have no grasp of it whatsoever." And congratulations. Every cell in your perfect animal body is beginning to purr with luminous gratitude for the enormity of the riches you endlessly receive. You are becoming aware that each of your heart's beats originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself. Any residues of hatred that had been tainting your libido are leaving you for good. You are becoming telepathically linked to the world's entire host of secret teachers, pacifist warriors, philosopher clowns, and bodhisattvas disguised as convenience store clerks. In other words, you're on the verge of détente with your evil twin. And you're ready to submit to a multiple-choice test, which goes like this: How does it make you feel when I urge you to confess profound secrets to people who are not particularly interested? Does it make you want to: a. cultivate a healthy erotic desire for a person you'd normally never be attracted to in a million years; b. stop helping your friends glamorize their pain; c. imitate a hurricane in the act of extinguishing a forest fire; d. visualize Buddha or Mother Teresa at the moment of orgasm; e. steal something that's already yours. The right answer, of course, is any answer you thought was correct. Congratulations. You're even smarter than you knew. To seal your victory, repeat the following affirmation: "Stressed" is "desserts" spelled backward. Now remain here for a while in this state of supernatural relaxation. As you begin to return to normal waking consciousness, don't return to normal waking consciousness. Instead, practice feeling the confidence that you can invoke the scent of wild honey in a sunlit meadow any time you feel an urge to. In honor of your enhanced power to be yourself, I hereby reward you with a host of fresh titles. From now on you will be known as the Senior Vice President of Strawberry Fields and Hummingbirds, and the Deputy Director of Green Lights and Purple Hearts. Consider yourself, as well, to be the new Puzzle-Master Supreme, the Chief Custodian of Secret Weapons, and Field Commander of Free Lunches and Poetic Licenses. |
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